Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC headline "Israel rally against segregation" as "Odd idea for a race against time"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC Headline "St Mirren 2-1 Rangers" as "Helen Mirren sat with 21 strangers"

Mental observations aboard a train today

1) Aboard the train to central London, Wmm was trying to read the headlines on someone else's newspaper and the woman held it in such a way that it was difficult to actually see the headlines properly. In Wmm's mind's eye, there was a need to see some sort of revenge taking place and this woman with a bob hairstyle had the front of her hair hanging down at the sides curling forwards formed into a tendril and suddenly it pierced through the skin of her jaw into her mouth and erupted through the front of her face like black spots turning into curved claw like protrusions piercing through her skin of the front of her mouth and they grew bigger and bigger engulfing her whole face.

 2) Then he watched an Indian man scooping his bombay mix out of the plastic bag using a finger and thumb depositing it in his mouth as if his whole arm were a mechanical grabber , Wmm felt very aggravated by this and suddenly imagined a spiral shaped funnel and the Indian man having his hand thrusted into the funnel deforming his hand turning his fingers into twisting spiral shaped tendrils that removed the contents of the bag of Bombay Mix and then thrusted it down into the back of the man's throat bypassing his teeth and tongue, he would not get to have any fun eating it and would probably end up with indigestion having not chewed it up . 

3) Wmm noticed the head of a man with a round smooth looking face and a bald shaven head walking in to the train and then mentally saw his face broke up into a star shaped orifice filled with many teeth, that opened up like a flower.

4) Wmm observed a woman who was sitting down raising the jacket of her son to make sure that his shirt was tucked in and Wmm mentally observed how of his trousers five pipes erupted spewing thick black fluid everywhere all over the floor.

 

NB Wmm acknowledges that he has seen the Thing remake/prequel or whatever it is recently

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Oil hack attacks may 'cost lives' " as "Haddock liver oil may not be cod liver oil"

Crackdown on detrimental Eurovision Song Contest singers

Wmm managed to identify a Eurovision Song Contest performance from thirty years ago, Norwegian singer Finn Kalvik who sang "Aldri i livet", that may have been affecting his mind in a negative way for the last 30 years having watched it only once on TV back then, due to foreign lyrics that will never be translated by the typical listener not from the singer's country, that are likely to transform in the mind into other words non-existent in any language that the experiencer may well believe has some meaning in the language of the subconscious, along with the facial expressions of the singer such as the repetitive raising of the eyebrows with the blank look in his eyes . Wmm feels that some of these things can be detrimental if left unchecked to carry on replaying in the back of the mind for three decades. Hundreds of thousands of people in their 40s around Europe are expected to be able to make full recovery after having suffered the effects of his performance thirty years ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=03V2rqTIqwE

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Climate talks may run out of time" as "Chinese runes are talk of the town"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news healine "Wmm misread "Sarkozy warns of disintegration" as "Sarcastic dwarfs of disinterest""

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline ""Egypt Islamists widen poll lead " as "He's given salami boiled in lead"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "ICC 'warrant for Laurent Gbagbo' " as "I want a carrot for a rented tugboat"

Hypnagogia of the day

Hypnagogic sentence from this morning "He believes therefore that destruction is literacy".

The imagery that accompanied this was a couple of American soldiers holding their machine guns walking into a hotel and up some stairs where a group of bewildered looking women were standing in the landing room

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC headline "Venezuela repatriates gold stocks" as "Sensually repackaged gold socks"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC headline "Syria conflict 'like civil war'" as "syrup works with cornflakes"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC headline "Arab League sets Syria ultimatum" as "Ham baguette beats sausage and tomatoes"

Misidentifications of the day

Wmm remembers seeing a red plastic bag in central London yesterday being pushed gently by the breeze over the curb and his mind imagined it to be a blood drenched medium sized squid that was crawling from the pavement into a drain. Some months ago a black larger plastic bag on the road being inflated by the breeze, he imagined to be a cow lying on its side, and some other plastic bags made him think of some other animals in places that they should not have been.

NB:Wmm acknowledges that he saw a program on TV about people catching giant squids to examine their camouflaging ability recently

Mental image of the day

Wmm wants it to be understood that when he sees a woodpigeon pecking away on breadcrumbs on the backgarden patio, he starts to imagine a centipede made up from woodpigeons. He has also drawn a sketch to help people to imagine what he is mentally perceiving

Woodpigeon centipede ?

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the line "say no to big oil" (as in the Huffington Post headline "It's Time for Obama to Say No to 'Big' Oil ") as "Sad "No" to Gas bag"

Cinema assumption of the day

I have seen the possible connection between the new James Bond movie called Skyfall and the Chickylicky/HennyPenny story and noticed one or two people on Twitter have made the connection, however I wonder if they'll change Miss Moneypenny into Miss HennyPenny.

Misreading of the day

1. Wmm misread the BBC News Facebook headline "LIVE: Follow the latest news as Greek Prime Minister Papandreou heads to the country's president to offer his resignation." as "Prime Minister Papandreou heads off to the country to release his anger"

2. Wmm misread the BBC News headline "Gaddafi son Saif 'trying to flee' " as "Gaddafi's son is safe training a flea circus"

Misreading of the day

1. Wmm misread the BBC headline "Cymdeithas drops licence boycott" as "Cynthia has dropped boyfriend in canal"

2. Wmm misread the BBC headline "Syrian army 'shell Homs district'" as "Sugar in Marmite makes Sherlock Holmes distressed"

3. Wmm misread the BBC headline "Tabak 'could do Dutch jail time'" as "That f**k drools such slime"

Misreading of the day

Wmm look at the headline of a blog entry somewhere which offered a quote from The Last Picture Show film which was "A person can't sneeze in this town without someone offering them a handkerchief" and misread it as "A person can't sneeze in this town without offering everyone else his handkerchief"

Vague facial similarities between actresses

Wmm suddenly realised the other day that there was a vague similarity between Shirley MacLaine when she was young and the actress Carey Mulligan. Wmm didn't want to find out once he noticed the similarity that  a good many other people over the past year have also noticed the similarity even though it is a vague similarity. Wmm does not want to be in a boat full of people who are sitting around recognising the similarity between Shirley MacLaine and Carey Mulligan, but he has and doesn't know what to do about it. There is no real way that Wmm could mistake one for the other but as one looks in photographs, the vague similarity is there, perhaps there it is being projected like a sharp javelin into the depths of the minds of the public on purpose so that they can think that Carey Mulligan is the next Shirley MacLaine or that Shirley MacLaine was the last generation's Carey Mulligan as if it were foreseen that she would be taking up acting all the time ever since her parents were twinkles in the eyes of her grandfathers. There is nowhere left to run!

Shirley MacLaine and Carey Mulligan

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headling "US 'held meeting with Haqqanis'" as "US' bed meeting with Cannabis" 

He assumes that this would give them a chance to lie down and smoke weed as they pillow-talk it out.

 

 

 

 

Misreading of the day

1. Wmm misread the BBC headline "Obesity 'harms teen girls more" as "obscenity harems steals girls' money"

N.B. The other variation is "Obscenity harems need more girls" but if one were to ask exactly what they mean by girls, as in terms of age, well it often means a full grown woman, but the whole thing becomes a little too complicated for the misreading. But the fact that the Obscenity Harem manifested out of this with a variety of things that it might be doing with girls in whatever way becomes a greater point of focus/fracas.

2. Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Deadly protests in Yemen capital" as "Deadly protestants' Semin as capital"  

3. Wmm misread the BBC News headline "Clashes mar Rome anti-cuts rally" as "Mars Clashes with Rome's anticulturalists" while bearing the knowledge that Mars was the Roman god of War.

Misreading of the day

Wmm at a fleeting glance misread the two BBC headlines "NY protesters hail clean-up delay" and " Bangkok 'safe' as floods approach" together as "Hysteria at failure to clear up food display"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC headline "Obama lays down gauntlet on jobs" as "Obama lays an egg cutlet on the Job"

 

Wmm supposes that the misreading was on the verge of suggesting that Obama was doing something other than walking over the dead body of Steve Jobs . Misreadings can suggest many many things.

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Karzai Pakistan in 'double game'" as "Pack of cards is standing doubt gamut"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Chinese launch set to US anthem" as "Chinese lunch sets for us and them"

Day dream vision and Mishearing / Mondegreen of the day

Yesterday on the way the British Library conference hall for a J G Ballard Event there featuring a line up of speakers.  Wmm walked from home to the station to get a train and noticed an empty crisp packet on the ground next to a car and found himself imagining a mutant crab claw covered in gelatinous blood coming out tempting predator of some sort to eat it as perhaps some sort of a weirdly shaped corn based snack such as packet of Monster Munch or Quavers etcetera.

Wmm kept that vision in mind and when he met up with the JGBallard discussion group there and sat down in the auditorium, Mike from up North who was sitting next to him started to sound as if he was talking about "the crisp packet essay" and Wmm became very confused wondering what could be so interesting about the development over the years of crisp packets despite what he experienced earlier on that day. However Mike was referring to an essay about Ballard by someone called Chris Beckett who was a British Library archiver and Wmm came to realise this when he saw the name on a list of speakers.

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Global markets fall on debt fears" as "Global ranting falls on deaf ears"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC headline "No UK talks with Putin since 2007" as "No chalk with putty since zoos"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Strauss-Kahn arrives back in France" as "Stress can arrive back to front"


Wmm noticed a number of comments about what stress can do because of this and you ought to be thankful that he didn't go full throttle there

Misidentification of the day

Wmm is not exactly sure how he briefly mistook a photo of Kiera Knightly on the front page of a news paper for Michael Jackson

 Will she be up for the role when they film his biopic?

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Rhino horn thieves only got replicas" as "Rihanna porn drivel only just replicas"

Wmm just took a look to see if there were any reports about Rihanna the pop star involvement in any porn videos and there seems to be something about a sex tape involving a lookalike, so maybe this is disinterestingly about that.

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "West pushes Syria sanctions" as "Wet lush lands for bird sanctuary"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC headline "Egypt Withdraws envoy in Israel" as "Ego withdraws envelope from Australia" which makes Wmm wonder if he has been pushing the envelope as far as it will go on the planet considering he lives in England.

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "markets plummet as fear returns" as "market plums are fear of satan"

Misreading of the day

1. Wmm misread the BBC news headline " "Fresh crackdown" on Syria unrest " as "Crayfish and mackeral in Syrian sunset." 
2. Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Search for man as tug boat sinks" as "Men treated as bug, both sing"  
3. And leading on from there, Wmm noticed that in his mind the BBC headline "Police hit back at riot critism" started to transform into " Crickets rock back with Polish hit" as if the two men who were treated like bugs were able to sing like crickets and started a rock band but didn't sound like Buddy Holly's group at all.  
4. It's quite possible that as backing vocalist, they've had a career where their singing could only be heard faintly in the background of other artist's records as crazy cricket chirping under layers of other sounds.

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Hedge funds 'grabbing land' in Africa" as "Hedge rows full of land crabs"

I.) ‎"Land crabs" starts to now metamorphose into "cabinets" possibly with crabshells

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread yesterday's Evening Standard news headline "Get London Reading" as "Colonic Irrigation". It also lead Wmm to wonder if house prices in Reading were going to go up.

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC headline "Mission to save rarest sandpiper" as "Mission to save rarest sandpaper"

Misreading of the day

1. Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Downing St denies UK Libya troops" as "Drowning Saint Denis applies for UK passport" and

2. Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Endeavour makes last touch-down" as "Devourer makes last lunch now"

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC headline "Fifa allegations worried sponsors" as "First alligators worried sparrows"

Misunderstanding of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Quake mission to 'ring of fire' " as "Quaker Mission do 'Bring and Buy' "

Misreading pf the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "Salmond says Koussa 'a witness' " as "Salmon and couscous salad this winter"

Misidentification of the day

-Elisabeth Moss-

-Sarah Polley-

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wmm is probably concerned because he sometimes has to do a double take when he sees some old photos of the actress Elizabeth Moss with blonde hair because she looks a little too much like Sarah Polley in some shots, but it doesn't quite work the other way around. Well, maybe by next year they'll have successfully transformed into one and the same person, which ever of the two that is.

Misreading of the day

Wmm misread the BBC news headline "High diver's heart-stopping plunge into paddling pools" as "Hearts, livers and kidneys, bobbling in the pool"

Wmm remembers seeing "Battle: Los Angeles" at a local cinema.

It was a little bit perplexing seeing actors playing in this movie almost seeming to continuously spew out clichés but Wmm somehow enjoyed the movie, he hadn't seen the alien monsters in it in any previous movie, but if people have been seeing too many of them in video games and this all seemed like another video game to them, Wmm doesn't bother to play these things so he doesn't have a lot to say about the videogame perspective. 

However it seemed that every time one started to rationalise what one was seeing of the aliens, their weapons and their ships, one started crying out to see something new and indeed they would show something new like another craft or whatever just in the nick of time. We never actually learn much about the aliens other than what they look like under the armour, how to kill them and how to defeat them, but still Wmm liked the designs enough. When he discovered what the aliens were doing with the water from the oceans, he remembered that the aliens in the original version of the TV series V were also doing this.

Wmm acknowledges that a fair amount of the thunder from this film was stolen by the makers of the film Skyline with their scenes featuring air battles and flying alien crafts over LA, he has read some rumours that the technology being used for Battle LA was possibly illegally used for Skyline and Sony were interested in suing over the matter. For Wmm, Battle: Los Angeles feels like an honest attempt at a movie while Skyline continues to make him feel as if he has been shoves face first into raw sewage whenever he thinks about it. 

Battle: Los Angeles might be better avoided totally by people who are fed up with these alien invasion movies altogether, but is one for die hard scifi movie fans

Wmm marched off to a local cinema to see a movie about a King with a speech impediment

Wmm saw with a bunch of friends, the movie about a King with a speech impediment. He was glad that he waited to see it with the group of friends, well , he would not have bothered to see it otherwise, and he enjoyed it very much and it certainly bore no resemblance to one of those Merchant Ivory movies.

Wmm already can't remember the name of the man who played King George but felt that Geoffrey Rush held the movie together very well. Wmm noticed Anthony Andrews in one of the roles and if he was supposed Prince Charles having gone back in time to pretend to be the prime minister, he was doing it quite well, and Wmm only worked out who Timothy Spall was playing when the character's name was mentioned.

Misunderstanding of the day

Wmm read the BBC headline "Dead fish clog California Marina" and thought it was an article about a bizarre new Californian mania for creating pairs of clogs fashioned in the form of a couple of dead fish as they might be found in a fish monger

Misunderstanding of the day

Wmm read the BBC news headline " Bird 'shot brother 11 times' " and thought it might be something to do with the Sparrow with his bow and arrow in the " Who Killed Cock Robin " nursery rhyme/folk song, but was completely wrong and anyway, Sparrows and Robins are simply distant cousins as species

Bus journey vision this evening:

Wmm remembers sitting on the bus home near a person who was doing a crossword in the newspaper, Wmm imagined a mechanical grabbing device that broke into the man's skull and removed his brain, suddenly, the man's left hand started to become... pale and metamorphose, with multiple fingers growing forming almost like a fan like fin that began to flap away in Wmm's face, maybe about twenty or thirty fingers in a row and then he noticed that groups of fingers would have long black fingernails and there would be the occasional one with a white nail, making the fingers of the fan like hand curling around the safety bar in the bus begin to resemble a piano keyboard. The man's face became white, long and narrow like a fish, his eyes became bulbous and black sticking out of the side of the head.