Thursday, 12 November 2009

Misreading of the day

Wmmvrrvrrmm misread the news BBC headline "Irish priest freed in Philippines" as "Irish priests feed in the flee pit"

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Misreadings of the day

  • Wmmvrrvrrmm misread the BBC news headline "Washington sniper is put to death" as " Wesley Snipes is put to death" but nothing is mentioned about Denzel Washington

  • He also misread the BBC newsheadlines "Soldier's bodies are repatriated" as "Soldier's bodies are pastified" as if the army have learnt a thing or two from the story of Sweeney Todd to dispose of the war dead.
  • And also he misread the BBC news headline "New Zealand shark bite turns into surprise octuplet Caeserian" as "New Zealand shark bits turn into a surprise octopus Caesar salad"

Friday, 6 November 2009

Misreading of the day

  • Wmmvrrvrrmm misread BBC news headlines "Tiny tech sparks cell signal find " and "Beyonce Wins MTV Europe Hat-Trick " as "Tiny-Twins' speakout against cell sized find beyond wins MPD erotic bath tap" (MPD is short for multiple personality disorder)

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Events and reminiscences for November 3rd 2009

  • Passing Nibthwaite Road: Travelling through a state of non-existence, Wmm was on the bus as it passed the Indian cinema in Harrow , he noticed the sign of Nibthwaite Road, a road name that crawled into Wmm's mind for some years going in all kinds of different directions and the road itself led into roads with other curious names such as Blawith Road, Bethecare Road and he remembered Eamonnnnn who lived amongst the roads and wondered what sort of strange effect the mystical names of the surrounding roads had on his mind over the years, did it force him into a state of perpetual confusion every morning leading him determined to find an ultimate answer for the meaning of existence. The roads were named after places in another part of the country and Wmm would often misremember Nibthwaite as Nibthweth for whatever reason. He was on his way to the community centre in Harrow and noticed Ali the Turk (who was from Turkey) at the bus stop, but he looked like a pale shadow of his former self, Wmm only just recognised him and he smiled at Wmm. If someone told Wmm that it was not Ali, then Wmm didn't know who it was.
  • Ali the Turk: Ali was a middle aged man who experienced depression and when he was in that state under the heavy effects of medication, he had the manner of a kind saint like figure, a peaceful spiritual figure. But when he had recovered he turned back into the life filled rogue that he was. In chats they had in a chance meeting in a local café, Ali had good things to say about Wmm's artwork and once asked him to storyboard a script he had on his own website and Wmm visited that website to find as well as video footage of the Queen visiting Harrow, footage of Ali having sex with what were assumed to be porn actresses, and Wmm was not quite sure what to say about this, and less sure what to say about the scripts either because they were in broken English, and that was the last word he had with Ali for some years, probably because they banned smoking in the café which was not good for Ali. Wmm had no desire to see Ali ever again after having seen Ali's butt on the screen in that way, however one thing that Wmm could say was that Ali looked as if he made careful choices with his women that he made into his films performers.
  • Alan B: Moments later outside the library, Wmm met Alan B, who was a good old soul to chat to, always out for the last witty statement at every given opportunity, and probably around his sixties. He probably had been hit with the insane idea a long while ago that there was more to reality than what we experience around ourselves but by now had forgotten what it all meant to him other than the need to express one joke after another and to blame all the other problems manifesting as a product of the incomprehensibility of existence which Wmm admits does happen to him a little but in a different way. Wmm's first words to Alan would be "Hi there, you look familiar" and Alan's response would turn the definition of "familiar" being from "commonly known" into "closely intimate" and say something in response like "what, you're getting familiar with me?" ,
  • Wmm would tell him "well thank god I'm not getting familiar with you because if you thought that was happening I would have to kill you" and then the conversation would go into accusations that one of them was getting familiar with Margaret F, an angry middle aged scottish woman who had designs on Peter W. Margaret was someone who Wmm had labeled the Rhinoceros Woman because Wmm would imagine a long pustule coming out from the tip of her nose. She was more obviously than obvious the hottest date that anyone but them was supposed to want in the world and there would always be accusations from Alan that Wmm wanted to go out with her or Wmm would claim that Alan wanted to go out with her. They talked about Peter W's long absence leading to no trips to museums or cinemas in quite a few months which Wmm admits has left him in a vacuum because his own social life seemed to revolve around going to cinemas and museums with this group of people who were all at least about a decade older than him, Peter had been travelling around England a lot, and finding ways to push to the extremes his ability to drive around corners in his car in a way that he would crash his car more often to force him to hand out more money for more car damages and Peter had to pay for enough car damages as it is. Wmm asked Alan if it's possible that he had died recently and if he had Alan admitted that he did not know anything about it, so Wmm asked him if he had been to anyone else's funerals recently that he thought were for someone else such as Peter W, Eamonnn* or Neil R Newt , but Alan didn't recollect going to any of their funerals either, so Wmm assumed he was still alive and Alan felt that any rumours about his own death were unfounded. (* the extra N's on the end of Eamonnnn are there on purpose, otherwise the vowels at the beginning of Eamonnn's name are elongated, and another thing he has a good head of hair for a man of his age, so good that some people might assume it was a wig, his response to Wmm's assumption it was a wig was he might not have inherited much through his family genes, but at least he inherited strong hair, it was definitely in his genes)
  •  Someone probably named Richard: Later Wmm made his visit to the community centre and then returned to central Harrow for his cappuccino experience. As he waited for the bus, a couple of cute Somalian teenage girls asked Wmm about his pyramid, if it was for religious purposes, and once they found out it was not, then they wanted to know what it was for and Wmm told them. He soon got the bus into central Harrow and headed straight for the Café Nero where his table remained waiting and empty.
  • The tall pretty possibly Eastern European waitress asked how Wmm was, and it was late evening with dark skies at this time, getting wintry and Wmm replied that obviously he was having a wonderful time with the bright and shiny weather and it was obviously 32 centigrade outside. The waitress knew that Wmm would reply in this manner, she was accustomed to his responses over the last few years. Wmm sat down for his cappuccino and found someone that he knew as Richard coming in to the café, most likely to sit at Wmm's table without asking. Actually Wmm can't remember if his name is Richard because he did not have a reason to bother to remember his name and no one else Wmm knew really knows him very well to talk to either, but Richard is one of these people who seems to silently walk around places minding his own business as if he were from behind the walls of perception and no real place in this world. This person is of a calm good humoured nature happy to chat in the way given here, a neatly dressed man somewhere in his 40s with appearance of a baby faced man with collar length curly prematurely grayed hair that almost ought to belong to a surfer, he might wear sandals in summer, and could well be compared to Dillon from Magic Roundabout, he ought to be a hippy but isn't quite. Wmm was always happy for him to come and sit at his table because of his peaceful nature and good humour, like an unintrusive illusion. If someone suddenly told Wmm that Richard was an imagined person, he might be open to the possibility that this was true and he tends to treat him like one anyway
  • Wmm chatted with him about Ali the Turk who made porn movies and his visit to Ali's website, and Richard suddenly talked about the possibility of becoming one of his porn studs as a possible option. He mentioned that someone took a photograph of him today and Wmm told him obviously the photograph was going to be used as a tattoo for people's bottoms and Richard added the idea that these people would be showing their bottom's in Ali's porn movies. Richard then went on to wonder how much Ali the Turk payed his porn stars and Wmm assumed that he payed enough to give the performers enough to make sure they could survive the work and would probably pay them by the end of the year, which year exactly was another matter.
  • They talked about Peter W. and whether he would be having any more museum and cinema gatherings, and well he wasn't. Wmm told him about all the people who were part of that gathering, including Neil R. Newt, and then Richard mentioned the name of Grigor who would phone Peter up at midnight every single night to mumble his insanity and tell him about his personal woes. Grigor was a strange little man who looked like Frankenstein monster's little brother who ought to have been an undertaker, Grigor would have Peter drive him up to places around London such as houses with blue plaques where famous politicians used to live many years ago, and he would have estate agents take him around multi-million pound properties, he would just go for the attention and the beverages served to him such as champagne and they would be fooled into believing that Grigor was a multimillionaire. Grigor would also visit the outside of houses the other side of the city which would have been inhabited by perhaps a woman who winked at him ten years ago driving him to being in love with her for all the years afterwards so sure the girl was somehow still his girlfriend since that one wink. Grigor existed like an hallucination and for this reason it was always good to talk about Grigor, especially as Ygor wasn't really the real name of the man, and no one really knew what the real name might be. Wmm asked Richard if he knew Grigor at all and if he actually heard him speak because Wmm didn't remember if he did at all. Richard revealed that he didn't know if he met Ygor but only heard the name mentioned. They went on to chatting about the departed Desi and the work he did for the organisation Connections and the computer that led to his own death. Richard talked about the Mental Voices Network and Wmm liked the idea that there was a network of people sitting in rooms alone hearing voices , what kind of words those voices might have said and maybe these people forming the network were all there collecting this form of data for the good of mankind.
  • While they sat in the Cafe Nero, two children with faces painted like tigers came with empty Starbucks cups to the table asking for money donations. Richard was almost about to give them both fifty pence each but thought better not in the end. Wmm decided to buy him a cup of tea as a reward for being so mean and not giving those children fifty pence each. Richard accepted the tea and had to pay 15 pence of it because Wmm's funds were that low, and Richard wouldn't drink his tea too quickly because he doesn't want to burn his tongue, he said that he did this yesterday, and when Wmm pressed him further on the issue, he wouldn't admit to doing it on purpose, but obviously the opposite must the case, he must have had every reason to want to burn his tongue. Later Richard performed the illusion of walking to the other side of the café to pick up a newspaper as if it were an impossible illusion that he could pick up something so solid and sit down to read it, as if the newspaper were a non physical structure carefully designed by a studio full of the top virtual designers who had been given the task of creating a newspaper that was to fool people into thinking it was a real thing along with every single article of news and the adverts to be found within. Wmm's reality was like a pathetic cut price virtual realistic holographic computer game, but at least the designers were allowed to add something such as a realistic newspaper into it. Richard tried one time earlier to pick up a newspaper and failed but later he succeeded and found a book to go with it that seemed to be about subatomic physics. He briefly looked through the newspaper, uttering the words "good news, good news, bad news, bad news, bad news, bad news…"
  • Wmm said to him "did you have a wonderful exciting experience skimming through the newspaper within 30 seconds?" 
          He replied "I need erm…"

          And before Richard had a moment to finish his sentence,
          Wmm added "I'm sure you really do"

          He said "I need a longer time to assess it"

          Wmm's response was "I think you need a shorter time to really
          get to grips with it"

          Richard then started to thumb through the book that was called
          "Deep simpilicity"
  • He revealed to Wmm that he used to read books like this when he was ten years old, graduate books about subatomic physics that he couldn't understand and it put him off physics for life. This was such a powerful revelation that it must have affected one hundred thousand people all overwhelmed by the particles of energy being emitted by the man. Within a few minutes, Wmm asked him if he had finished the book, and he told Wmm that he had only reached page 114. On the page were diagrams of strange network patterns and it reminded Wmm of the idea of the Hearing Voices Network that he talked about earlier, as if these people were connected by irregular information lines across the whole wide world. During this time Wmm was quietly working on a portrait of his dear stupendous friend Jemima Tryon and before the café was about to close, he quietly went on his way home.