Monday, 28 January 2013

So the Gnome King said....

The Gnome King, code name for one of the inhabitants of the Harrow environment, said to Wmm while at a bus stop and aboard a bus and in stream of conscious mode

"You know, I walk in the street here, right I sit there, by myself and some bastard had driven into a bus stop, right, he has, some bastard had driven into a bus stop, right, it's true down that road down there, he drove into a bus stop. you know, It's serious, you know"

"They want me to give up smoking, no smoking in my own, my own, er, room , they don't want me to smoke, course I smoke, I'm allowed to smoke. That's not going to kill anybody is it. That's not very good is it. When I smoke, I smoke, you know, if I can't breathe air in and I'm breathing gas of some, some description, right, and if there's some gas leak there, right and it's all over Burnt Oak there. Right, and there's gas everywhere, and there's gas over there, and it was stinking gas, and I put a cigarette in the toilet, I have this idea that erm, that if I put a cigarette in the toilet, it could explode. They've put spirits of salt there, right and supposedly, somebody in my erm, my car there, right and I'm in the kitchen by myself, I phone somebody up there, I said I reported it, right, leave him, right, don't talk to him, right, I put the phone down on them, right, and I'm not talking to him anymore, right, don't talk to them, don't talk to them. He says I can't beat them with a brolly, right…."

"I can't seem to drive, I can't seem to drive, I don't like driving, they drive so fast, right, you know, they drive so fast. I lifted something up there, doing a weight training there. they're all in there, I was on a squash court there, and they all hang around erm,
Hanson Road there, I'm driving away in Anselm Road, driving there, I'm driving away, when I'm driving in a car, because what happens when you're driving in a car, right, I'm driving away by myself, and supposedly, I was driving, and i got a parking fine and I got some kind of parking tickets with something there, right and I parked it there, and I ripped it to pieces, I didn't pay for it, I threw it away, right and then supposedly I parked it in the drive there, Kieth thinks that I burgled his house, right, which I didn't, people were smashing it to pieces, they beat the fuck out of him then, right, here in number 9 now, I hear them and they raided number 9, they're in number 5 Hanson Avenue, I'm watching television and they think I'm in number five, right , I'm not, the police are in there and there's a fire in five right, there's a fowl smell in the garden there, and there's a stink there, there's a dog there, there're all these dogs in there, and I'm thinking they've hit this Alsation dog there, right, this poor Alsation dog there and I'm thinking what total and absolute arsehole. They have ordered their dogs in their gear in "Montesors", playing football there, right, they're playing football. I opened my door and supposedly I touched something, I can't open the door, I can't change the lock at all, I got change for no lock, right, I have a door it's okay, I electrocute … there and everybody says that they don't know what it is, right, and supposedly I have a problem touching metal and I think it's made of metal."

"Somebody's erm sending me letters, they don't belong to me, right, and I think to myself, why on earth are they sending me letters if they don't belong to me, and I take it down to the post office by myself, right, and that means I go to the post office, they're changing their mind about everything, right, I go to the post office, I go in there, I buy a load of stamps there, fill out an application form, right, stamp whatever, whatever, whatever it is, I phoned the court up, I phoned the court up, I went to Bishop Stortford or something, I went there, I went to Essex Police Station, Essex Magistrates court, they changed the court there, right, I was driving then, very very fast. I can't see them coming up front or the left, but there's something about tailgating, right, driving behind me, right, there's all this, erm, car crashes, right, I'm driving very fast. I'm on a train, somebody's leaving messages on my answer phone, right, something about football, and I'm thinking , why do they want to phone me , I'm looking at a telegraph pole, somebody's driven into a brick wall and I'm terrified that possibly that…."

Conversation was ended by the fact that Wmm got off the bus and could no longer hear the words of the Gnome King as he remained in his stream of consciousness flow and the doors shut.

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