Misreadings of Metro newspaper headlines

1. While sitting in a train to London and reading someone else's copy of the Metro over the person's shoulder, Wmm misread the news story heading "Fear as toxic load is stolen" as " Fear as sonic toad is swollen" 
2. And moments later in the same column misread "20,000 rush for 400 Ikea posts " as "20,000 rush for 400 tea pots "
3. Then misread "Just pals or has Liv fallen for Orlando's magic spell" as "Just spills or has Liv fallen on Orlando's magic spew?'"