Misreading of the day

I misread the BBC news headlines "a male contraceptive jab could be as effective as the female pill" as "a fake detective job reveals the election of the female god"

Misreadings of the day

•  I misread the BBC News headline "Mexico to begin lifting flu curbs" as "Mexicans to begin living in cubes" which obviously must be what's going on in a parallel timeline where the swine flu didn't settle down resulting in the government there forcing further quarantine measures to be taken

•  I misread BBC News headline "Gaza patients questionings 'rise' " as "Greek Patisserie Guesthouse 'rave' " and really didn't have any clue about what that could mean in this universe or any other

• I misread in the BBC news article about the "Bang Bang Club" the picture caption "This time the fighters are firing blanks and lobbying polystyrene 'stones' " as "This time the fishers are fishing blackened polystyrene lobster clones" and felt very relieved about various things in life

Brief misindentification

Wmm briefly mistook the small shrubs in someone's front garden for grazing sheep

Misreading of the day

I misread "Demjanjuk loses deportation case" as "Demigod loses teleportation case" inspiring me to imagine an otherworldly visitor from another planet who carries a briefcase containing teleportation equipment and accidently leaves it in a telephone booth or by a park bench somewhere and of course I have the urge to search the streets for it everywhere because I so badly wants to travel the world by teleporting

vision and misinterpretation

Today I imagined my knife and fork turning into front legs and paws of a cat trying to grab the last piece of cooked salmon that refused to stay still on my plate, and later I misread the newsheadline "Blast carnage at shrine in Iraq " as "Blast carnage in shrimp farm"

Newspaper headline misreadings while on the train.

• In today's edition of London Paper I misread the headline "Kind deeds bear fruit at Berwick Street Market" as "A kind of dead bear found at Beirut Street War" and I envision a corpse of a rotting bear with small silver barked apple trees bearing gold and/or red apples growing through gaping holes where the skin has collapsed or has been torn open. But however, I wish that I had misread "deed bears" as "dead bard" instead of "dead bear", because I was later to find out that it was Shakespeare's birth and death day today.

• And a further minor headline in that newspaper "I've been to elen back, says Frank's Ex" transformed into "I've been talking about blank sex" and I didn't have any further visuals to accompany that but well good luck to Elen Rives if that's all she has to talk about.

Misreading of the day leading to synchronicities and daydream

• I misread the BBC news headline "Mass Tamil exodus from rebel area " as "Mark Hamill exodus from Rebel area". Maybe I've been thinking about Star Wars too much recently. Shortly after that I decided to declare this information in Twitter, and discovered that my internet buddy Mr Stamper had made a comment about Empire Strikes Back half an hour before I wrote something in Twitter and someone in Australia who I used to refer to as Gelig, asked if Mark Hamill had gone to see Yoda, and yes indeed it may well have been true that Mark Hamill was quite possibly on his way to see Yoda.

• Also today I misread the BBC news report about the the Gay marriage row at Miss USA show as being a row about Pre-teen marriage because the woman's surname was Prejean, and quite honestly I didn't have an inkling about what could be going on whatsover. I am deliberately picking up the wrong end of the stick about the actual issue here because what the row is about in this case isn't actually about what the Miss USA contestant said but what people want people to believe she said, and I'm not really that interested in what the lady actually said either because it didn't really wasn't that interesting until they took it out of proportion.

• I think that there is the issue of children being offered up for marriage in countries in distant continents where they do everything by very different customs and it's an issue that would be worth looking at , but I wonder what a Miss USA contestant could be perceive as objecting to next as if it would make any difference. Maybe the next thing might be for a Miss USA contestant at the contest to raise a storm about the fact that I was looking at a pretty woman in the cafe the other day in a certain way and whatever was going on in my brain at the time shouldn't have been allowed and I really have to stop it otherwise there could be no end to whatever is going on in my brain and it could get out of hand.